As coaches and players get ready for another summer of traveling around the country and begin their quest for a successful summer of competition, it is only fitting that we address a potential pitfall that may occur when you put many personalities together and begin molding a competitive environment. Every team that is formed at the beginning of the season will need to deal with conflict. Yes, as coaches and parents, we understand that conflict occurs at a high frequency in life but we have the tools and experience to deal with it. Young players usually lack the tools and experience to deal with conflict when it occurs and their lack of understanding can turn a fun, exciting summer into a nightmare very quickly. First of all, every team that plays competitive softball will have their share of conflict and will count on leadership from their coaches, parents or teammates to help resolve these issues and help keep a team or family on the right course. As a good friend of mine, Jeff Janssen use to say – every team will go through stages throughout a season. Those stages are Forming, Norming, Storming and Performing! The stage of team building that I am addressing today is the “Storming” stage. This is where conflict usually occurs and it is either dealt with in a positive and productive way or the team will implode. Here are some key points in learning how to deal with conflict:
- Conflict is unavoidable
- Conflict can be very productive in breading cohesion depending how you deal with it
- Understand the personality or style of the person you are dealing with
- Best communication – time, location, tone of voice, body language, etc.
- Shared goal
- Attack the problem not the person
- Problem solve – find a solution to the problem
- Not about winning the argument but what is best for the team
- Not equal relationship/ Head Coach has the final say
- Acknowledge when messages are received
- DESC (Describe, Express, Specify, Consequences)
- Manage your emotions
- Stick to your point/ Do not bring up additional issue
When Fear of Conflict Exists:
- Players don’t tolerate minor differences
- Players talk behind each others’ backs
- Players split into sub-teams
- Conflict carries over to the field
We have a set of guidelines on our team that specifies how we will deal with conflict. It has been a tremendous help in getting young people to be pro active and embrace the challenges that may occur when developing a team to be cohesive, supportive, and true to each other. Don’t let a season slide through the cracks because of the inability to face conflict. Each season will leave a memory and make sure you do everything to make it a positive and fun memory! Conflict is nothing more than a speed bump and all successful teams learn how to navigate through those bumps along the way to Title Town!
Until next month,
Coach Candrea